i have i love cock written on my hand and a vagina drawn on my arm and i just finished eating breakfast with the whole fam for mothers day
ahah at least you got away with it
nope...my gran was the one who informed me
hell yes lets make some ravioli
He asked if I was on the pill, apparently I just downed my glass of beer and winked at him...
I started dry heaving in the middle of sex and she says "You moan funny."
i'm so sad bro, I can't get any pussy. I'm so sad
I was just compiling a top 5 blowjobs list and that's in there for sure.
thank you for reminding me that I stumbled into a public place drunk at 9am wearing a chicks pants.
ill be fine wheb you get back. I'm gunna do real world things like washing the dishes. having to perform serious tasks brings you down.
He's texting from midnight mass asking for nude pics. Baby Jesus is spinning in his manger as we speak
I just remember looking over and seeing you on top of him and us high fiving. That's when I knew we'd be perfect roommates
You asked the bartender if she was trying to get you drunk. She cut you off after that.
Also, if he asks how he's doing orally I can probably ask if we're exchanging Christmas presents?
I'm sitting alone in a bar pretending to watch football because I don't know where the liquor store is around here and I'll be god damned I'm going to be sober on my day off.
Can you hurry up? Jamie just challenged my ex boyfriend to a duel and someone honest to God handed her a sword?
She didn't have her own?
april was a good month for me, sexually...doubled my number, had a threesome, fucked a girl for the first time and two different boys in one night. there should be a medal
Randomize