living well may be the best revenge, but it doesn't hurt that my exhusband is now dating a BEAST.
so i woke up in some guy's bed but then i realized i can atone for this tomorrow
I'm so bored, I can only pretend that this truck is a spaceship for so long.
His mom just described him as a manipulative, deceitful bastard -- oddly I still want him
He pulled his pants down and said blow me, while passing out on my bed. I then pulled his pants up as he continuously started moaning in the background.
I was trying to be an adult about it and simply deal with the situation, but a bowl seemed much more comforting.
The last thing I remember is sitting in a chair and him hand feeding me bell peppers
the lesbians just got naked and went into the ocean... this never happened when i was a camper.
get ready to load up the weird cannon and blow a load of buck-wildness all over the place people
Selling our snow shovel to buy more beer. Not your brightest idea.
You wanna know how bad I feel? I couldn't get out of bed to get the remote, so I just downloaded the comcast app on my phone so I could change the channels
We played table tennis, but used tv remotes taped to our foreheads instead of paddles. Every time your opponent scored you took a shot. I'm the current champion as of last night.
how does that bad decision feel?
I promise your sink was clogged before I threw up in it.
This is why I love being gay. I could never afford that much birth control.
Randomize