I wish your couch was made out of beer. I would drink like half of it.
hes 24 and dating a highschool junior and keeps saying how happy he is. happy about what? her ACT score??
never have phone sex with a hardcore republican during this health care crisis . just dont.
The last shot i remember taking was toasted to "love, sex, and magic". Needless to say I was 0 for 3 on that toast for the night.
I'm surprised you like me... I didn't think I was your type.
Blonde hair and big tits is every guys type.
WAIT U DIDN'T FEED THE SQUIRREL?
Are my feet made of real feet?
But I feel like studying my flashcards during a blowjob would be rude...
The drunk fake out is her specialty. She'll agree to come with us and two seconds later we check to make sure she's still there and we see her booking it down the hall in the opposite direction.
So I got my junk pierced since we've fucked. You should get in on this.
Was having the best sex dream I've had in a while and only woke up when I heard my grandma fall down the stairs.
yesterday pre dick pic he said "no disrespect to your situation but i cant wait to get ahold of you again in the future" is this how people network??
I just had to go dumpster diving, at 3am, in the rain, because I realized that I somehow threw away the brand new package of birth control pills I picked up from the pharmacy this afternoon. So I'm sort of a responsible adult.
That sad moment when the drawer I used to keep condoms in now has poptarts in it..
at the time fanning him with a dish tray seemed like a good idea but when we found it buried in the dirt the next morning i questioned our judgement. needless to say he still threw up even with the extra breeze.
Randomize
