I had to remind him that there is no "age exchange rate" between the u.s. and spain, and that 16 will always equal 16
So they call this "a walk of shame" but fuck that...this walk is fantastic. What kind of debbie downer came up with that name?
She brought an overnight bag to my party. Might as well have shown up wearing only a thong and a bottle of whip cream in her hand.
day 8: i just gave goat a piece of pineapple soaked in rum. as an animal science major, im ashamed. as a normal person, it was awesome.
She eyed me up from across the bar and mouthed "I have no gag reflex".
he rolled over in his sleep, called me a hoe and then grabbed my crotch. some things never change, asleep or not.
she made me take her to the grocery store to buy a gallon of sweet tea and a shit ton of band aids, the cashier asked if someone was hurt and she replied "not yet.."
You're either a hooker or Beyonce. Beyonce is abnormally good at doing everything in heels
The only flat surface we had was a cheez it box so we snorted the blow off of that. Rock bottom really isn't that bad.
Oh god now he thinks I'm into him because I've been staring at him trying to figure out what animal he looked like
After last night, I think I need a service animal to monitor the life choices I make when I'm inebriated. A monkey, or a clever dog. Or a really assertive parrot.
Just got a Lifeproof case for Christmas so hold on and tell me how my shower nudes look
We took a walk on the beach after the bar, he held my hand and kissed me. And then I peed under a lifeguard stand. It was so romantic.
only i would get off to receiving death threats online
Did your grand seduction include learning to play careless whisper on a kazoo or was that just a hobby
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