His dick was as big as my arm. Giving him a handjob was like giving someone an Indian sunburn.
I just found a receipt from ace where I bought 1 lrg plastic funnel, 2ft of 1" plastic tubing, and a 48" toboggan sled. Thank you cashier #552 for letting that poor life decision happen.
He did a line, told me my hair looked pretty against the background of the clouds, and then we fucked. Good afternoon
u know how some weekends you just wanna go out and ruin a relationship? this is one of those weekends
I started to trust fall random people on the dance floor
oh and i'm sorry i sold you for three cigarettes last night
Sorry I sent so many blank messages. My hands are slippery. Don't ask why.
Adderal just makes me love life. I want to do so much. I just can't stop thinking about all the wonderful opportunities we have and how lucky we are and I want to make a difference in the world. I just have to reign in my brain and convince it that changing the world starts with a college degree, which depends on studying for these finals.
I figured it out. If I have at least 4 shots of vodka before I start my day, EVERY day will be a good day.
Our lady landlord called. Dot worry, I handled it. Drunk. Tell her it was Nate. Done. Good. Bye. Drunk.
I just took two shots of Burnerts out of a ladle. Get here now.
Do you still speak french? one of two girls I woke up with only speaks french...
I told the American that we should start banging in Canada incase I get hurt and have to go to the hospital.. is that rude to say?
I'm a dude in a dress, who came to a party with Holly GoLightly, got hit on by Bambi's mom, and wants to do terrible things to Link. Halloween is weird
I feel like your boyfriend deserves to know that you're a lesbian.
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