i think i should save myself the $200 for a prom dress. i mean why bother. its just going to be covered in vodka/jizz/and puke by the end of the night.
I REALLY appreciate you guys taking care of me when im wasted but i think its weird when i wake up in different clothes than black out in
She said to delete the bj video, but I accidentally hit the 'send to her bf' button. My bad
I'm sitting in my bathroom sink, eating a tuna sandwich. He had better weed than I expected.
the amount of times i have wished for a boxed wine emoticon is almost alarming. almosttt
I had to ask him for the scissors while I was in the shower. My hood piercing was stuck in my loofah.
she let a homeless guy feel her up so she could go for a ride in his shopping cart
Good idea. You gotta take care of your vagina. She takes care of you. Pay it forward.
Well on a lighter note, I had sex in a food truck.
He fingered me in a Waffle House bathroom and then stole a traffic cone. Is this love that I'm feeling?
My trash can accurately represents my weekend: Bojangles wrappers and magnums.
That was years ago. And it was chlamydia.
Also, full disclose I puked in a fruit barrel box
You were supposed to catch herpes, not feelings!!!
I just had a flashback to me puking and you telling me it was okay because my boobs still looked awesome.
Randomize
