You know you're wathing too much reality TV when you start adding commentary to every day life.
The best part about the NBA starting up is I get to see Charles Barkley make a fool out of himself for 8 months
I think I'm going to die by hangover. I'm in my spanish class. So I guess I'm going to be muerte.
You named all of the cocktail shrimps and then tackled a guy for "eating Henry"
Three things I need a picture of: your friend, your bong, and your dick.
ARE YOU GOING TO SACRIFICE YOUR LIFE FOR MCDONALDS HASHRBOWNS
Sorry about sucking tonight. Drunk truck fucking is apparently not my strong point.
Is there a non-awkward way to tell a girl I work with that she looks just like my favourite pornstar?
You're on Grindr at the STD clinic. I love you.
My mind just played a snippet of me asking to be a Joey and trying to climb into your apron pocket...
Well you got kicked off a stripper pole. They said girls only.
I am going home. I have pee on my pants. Rachel is driving and I and drunk. It is not Rachels pee. It is my pee.
I'm crying during the second episode of Golden Girls that's how high I am.
We found him sitting in the back of the club crying into a strippers lap. She told us he missed his pet frog and to come back later.
Weight watchers just said "you've tracked beer three times recently, want to make it one of your favorites?" I'm begining to understand why I needed to go in the first place.
Randomize
