Weren't you self-described as an 'arab' slut?
No?
Well my cheeks are red now
Still drunk just puked in the meat cooler tried to clean it up with ham. Its not working
is it consensual if they're cheered on by a room filled with 30 people?
It smells like someone died in our apartment and ya'll used some random orifice of his body to smoke weed out of. Side note, how did we get a guitar?
The maintenance guy asked for a box to stand on to reach the ceiling. All I could offer him was a keg.
its weird that my cat bites every fat chick i bring home. i repeat every fat chick, qhT KINDA FRIEND ARE YOU
She thinks Jesus was an astronaut.
How many trips to the liquor store in a week constitutes alcoholism?
Wow my largely unnecessary pool of lizard-related knowledge finally came in handy. Are you proud?
I don't know what to say
My doctor wrote down abstinence as my form of birth control. #ihavenodatinglife
you were holding her above your head singing Circle of Life in what i assume was a Simba reference. then she smacked her head on a bar light and the bouncers kicked you out
Being a fine ass woman in a world full of fuckboys is the realest struggle I've ever known.
You're only young once, and once you get old, you either regret all the sex you had, or you regret not having enough.
Her mom Is so hot that when she was bending over i just zoned out starin at her ass her dad slapped me on the back an said let me tell you son everything you see here is mine and you had better realize i felt like simba
Yes, the maid of honor did just deep throat the mic during the toast. How do I follow that?
Randomize
