I am good. I dancing. Drinking but dancing fine.
She’s leaving for college so I made her a gift basket with all the essentials. You know- Ramen, a 12 pack of PBR, some leftover Plan B pills and a laminated business card for a good lawyer. Damn I’m a good big sister.
You sent her a pic of your dick with 'guess what you cant have anymore' written on it with a marker.
you know it's time to start studying when you've procrastinated to the point where you're reading your roommate's ex-boyfriend's wall posts from 2006.
now that im off birth control, the world is a much scarier place
I'm fucked up. I can't drink anymore. We stole a cat.
Don't you dare blame me for walking in one walking in on ur fuck session....u decided to fuck where we hid our booze
Cassie is wearing a baseball cap. This rebound is going nowhere
I walked home with him, but I had to pee...so I did...as we walked. He was so drunk he didn't even notice. Good thing I was in a dress.
He passed out. I tried to set his chest hair on fire.
She asked the bartender for "7 shots of something fruity" and long story short the bartender punched me in the face. Chivalry is stupid.
i tried giving myself a bikini wax.1. i hate you 2. i think i'm dying
I gave him a HANDJOB.
But then he finished from a handjob in under two minutes so who's really laughing?
the last i saw he was butt naked on the top deck of the bus trying to conduct a drunken choir so i really have no idea
i woke up with a shamrock tattoo on my wrist and a fat bruise on my hipbone. please tell me its not real.
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