I'm chasing vodka with french fries.
if you could put a roof over IU campus it would be the biggest whorehouse in the nation
We're learning about the color wheel. Hello college.
This will be amazing. Plus he's going to do a line of cocaine off of the other guy's ass.
The bachelorette party was all fun and games until the strippers came. AKA you guys.
I apologize for chief "dances with dolphins" sucking on your friends foot
The liquor stores are closed! NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO! CURSE YOU SANDY!!!!
Decided in my tanked state last night purchase 2 weeks worth of xanax, so I can guess my way thru this week and finals. Soberly, I decided it would be a great way to test my knowledge of finance.
MAN I GOT NO SLEEP AND HAD A BREAKFAST OF SKITTLES AND ASPIRIN. I'M LIVING THE LIFE.
btw my ex came by last night and saw the pregnancy test intructions. awkwarrrrd.......
ted dressed as a cardinal led an expedition across campus. i felt like one of the 12 apostles.
It took years to build this empire of casual fuckings and not carings.
I just put vodka in my apple sauce. Spice up your fucking life.
I smell like playdoh, sex, and ruined lives. I love the weekend
Don't forget to bring $1s for the strippers. Make it rain!!!!
Thanks, mom, will do
At 3:00am my whole house started smelling like cooking meat. I have no idea why she thought it was a good idea to crock-pot a WHOLE turkey that early in the morning.
Randomize
