If God's watching us, we might as well be entertaining
As I was puking last night I told them "it's ok I'm a paramedic"
all i could think was her face looked like a farm accident
i woke up in his bed to a "teach your baby to read" infomercial. i pray to GOD that's not a sign
That's why there are breakfast margaritas.
Guess who just screamed "Everything happens for a reason!!" in the abortion clinic. This girl.
They make twin pack pregnancy tests for girls like us
There was a trampoline and tequila. It was glorious.
She makes margaritas with lemon-lime 5 hour energy..thats brilliant
and you were wondering how she got into Harvard
I need to pull it together. I just cried my eyes out to Master Chef Junior.
He was feeling me up but acting like he was asleep. Like WTF does that mean??
Sometimes I look at her and just start choking. She is that much of an evil entity.
Jesus fuck that was emotional whiplash
I can't wait to get to LA so I can punch her in the face
Probably going to live on vodka sodas and fireball shots
Randomize
