You're never going to guess who I just worked out next to..
Who?
Chris brown
No way... I bet he was intense
Are you kidding? He was prob training for round two
I just had to stop two people giving each other hand jobs in the pool. That was not something I was taught in lifeguard training
Travelers Top-Tip: Europeans do not appreciate being repeatedly referred to as "gypsy" regardless of how good your Borat impression is.
I'm too hungover to crawl to the fridge so im eating the candy nipple tassels I got bought for Christmas
JUST MADE A FLAMING SLED. MIGHT HAVE 3RD DEGREE BURNS.
My god this is going to ruin whatever Vegas left of our souls...
OH AND DAN PET MY CAT WHILE I WAS GIVING HIM HEAD
She got drunk on the air plane and pretended to be an elephant for an hour...Atleast the kid behind us enjoyed it.
She had a belly button piercing in the shape of a cross. Talk about mixed messages.
i always handshake my one night stand, im classy like that.
I've finally done it. I finally achieved my lifelong goal of becoming that awkward lesbian in high school who went on to have sex with more women than any of her male classmates.
Woman doing my Brazilian right now says to tell you she says hi...what has our life come to?
Two grav bong hits and a shower later and I'm ready for company
It's like you say things that speak to my soul on a deep personal level
Just flash them and yell "JUDGE THESE BITCHES"
last night you said that you wanted to hold my dick as you slept because it was like having a stuffed animal.
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