The first sip always goes straight to my vagina.
it was like fucking gandolphs beard
The only dream I remember having is one where my dad's sperm turned into baby hippos. Like, tiny baby hippos, pocket-sized. I am so fucked up.
So after tequila Thursday, Jess broke her arm table dancing. Now her and Andrew look like the perfect drunk couple, matching casts and all.
5 out of the 6 of them cut their hands while trying to shot gun the beer, I had never seen balls attached to such patheticness
Soo time for a life change, my 6 yr old sister made my gf a puke bucket for her birthday
You grinded on me in Jimmy johns to a madonna song.
It was like a square peg in a round hole... I've never seen one shaped like a stick of butter...
thank you for being a reason not to completely check out of my life and start sleeping all day, crying all night, and living off vodka acquired through credit card debt
And, omg, my eyelids are on fire. I think the internet let me down. :(
My tits became the mascot for the SAE house last night.
New Orleans is just like you. Dirty but beautiful and will always have a special place in my heart
Awww I'm so proud! Starting friendships before you hook up!
You think that was bad? One time my parents found my sister half naked on top of the four runner in the garage. She makes me look like the good child.
She's wear your skin crazy! Is it wrong that I'm gonna fuck her 1 more time though?
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