I think she gave up trying 2 land a bf and let herself go
You misogynist thinking that every girl wants a bf
They do. I don't appreciate u using big words idk and im gonna take offense
I'm going to rape someone's good day.
Sitting at a red light. Windows are down. I'm blasting Gaga's "Disco Stick" and doing an interpretive dance to it because I think I'm hilarious. Look to the left and see two Phi Delts that I know with their windows down. They are horrified. I am probably going to lose their Facebook friendships.
There's a hobo dancing by himself. Is anyone going to ask how he got in the house?
Its like Laser Tag, but more fun because it ends in sex
I un-blacked out around 7am watching J.lo videos on youtube
Why hello there Olivia! How are you today on this fine and most wonderful morning full of magic and adventure and awesomeness?
Someone just got laid.
She just sat there, all alone, with a bottle of booze. And the dog. He even looked like he didn't wanna be there with her.
I just put on eyeliner and a diff shirt in case the pizza guy is cute. This is what my dating life has come to
We just started the day with vitamin bombs. Daily vitamin + whatever's left in your glass from last night = feel like a champion
I just can't deal with that sentence
Dear future Eric, sorry about the Everclear. Sincerely, Eric +2 shots E.C.
I WANT MY VAGINA TO POUND AT NICE THINGS.
I wish the guy in the stall next to me would stop moaning while taking a dump.
I wish you'd stop texting me from the toilet.
He’s over 6 feet has amazing posture and went to Harvard and has an awesome job and a great dick and loves Jesus and is an organ donor
Is this the guy you have listed as free food in your phone
Noooo he’s listed as free food #5
Have you had an orgasm with an n95 mask on yet? It was better than being choked.
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