a guy named alex was hitting on my friend tonight. he doesnt work on wind turbines tho.
Sooo i definitely have a major burn on my chin from kenny's ...stubble from making out for hours while coked up. Pure class.
I just peed next to my dog in the yard. Unparalleled forms of bonding going on over here.
I can practically hear my vag and my conscience fighting.
her cat was choking so she kept trying to stick her finger in her cat's mouth while saying "it's okay kitty, just do what mommy does"
Don't smoke out front when you get home there's gasoline involved I'll tell you later
Hey do you know who I showed my dick to at the bar last night?
Not blacking out at our finals party is my Everest
We hooked up with 2 friends last night as always and she stole their fucking cocaine and I just had to drive to their house and make her give it back to him hahshshahahah only me
Star Wars means nothing to me. I know only the basics. Darth is Luke's father. R2 is short, C3 is gold. Yoda sings Rainbow Connection. The kinda stuff EVERYONE knows.
I walked in on a circlejerk after punching that guy out. Instant karma.
Please tell me that nice older woman you're with at the bar is not your comp&lit professor.
Never. No amount of alcohol could convince my brain and eye sight that it is okay to fuck him. I'd rather fuck my cousin.
None of what you just said was coherent
I just bought wine at a gas station what the hell do you expect
I bonged champagne. And did keg stands. What in the actual fuck am I doing with my life?
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