Youre a pretentious asshole and im not sure who you think you are. Get the hell over yourself and the self righteous culture snob image because its pretty obnoxious.
I just found a 1/2 inch of mimosa in my shoe.
You should get more absorbent shoes.
Just walked by a guy on campus YELLING 'Im still hammered'
The KFC double down is way too much for a drunk. He was just staring at it in awe.
We just passed a billboard that said to join "jerseydoesntstink.com" and literally 15 seconds later, we could smell jersey.
thanks so much for stopping me from telling him i want to have sex with him while i proceeded to hookup with the air.
Ever have a day where u just waNna wake up get a blow job eat food and chill I just want today to be that day
I know I'm not the first to fuck in a park but i deserve props for doing it at 3pm. On a sunny day might I add.
I just sent you a google doc listing all the reasons why I should stop hooking up with him. Feel free to add to it.
Fuck I am starving. I don't think I've eaten in the past two days.
You didnt need to. Gin is like eggs, its a perfectly nutrionally balanced meal.
he was cumming and all I could think about was the pathway of sperm the in penis. thanks a lot nursing
This is why Helen Keller didn't drink
I almost drank vegetable oil. Where were you? I needed you.
As I was balls deep, she moaned "i can't wait to see what how hot our daughter will be". Instant de-boner
Hahahaha. He sent me a dick snap in the lululemon stockroom. What is life. If this works out, this could benefit everyone....
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