idk, i just don't think periods are something you can catch in a little cup.
i think the cat found all the blow we lost...
Don't forget your talking to the guy who got arrested for throwing beads back at the Mardi Gras floats. You can't deny that's a first, and neither could that cop.
i finally found my car by the hideout. it was parked in an employee only parking space with a torn up piece of paper in the back window with the word employee scribbled on it.
All I know is that if a letter starts with "I'm aware you jerked off in the bathroom last night," I don't want to finish reading it.
Rachel and his cat watched us 69 last night. I pretended to be embarrassed the next day... But to be honest I like an audience
So much beer in the passenger seat the seatbelt light is blinking
I HAVE NEVER BEEN FRIENDZONED IN MY LIFE AND THIS GIRL IS GOING TO MAKE ME QUESTION EVERYTHING. LIKE A GODDAMN CUNT. A WONDERFUL, BEAUTIFUL, MAJESTIC, LESBIAN CUNT.
Do you remember ripping my condom off last night while yelling "I DEMAND MY MEAT RAW" like a Viking?
I'm not gonna lie. I'm a little scared.
Good. The Jell-O shots look great.
I got really adventurous too. Like. Balls in the mouth adventurous.
Well, I got fired yesterday. At least I already paid for my Adele tickets.
The house across the street caught on fire today, Drunk people high centered their car tonight. Looking out my front window I get to watch police chases all the time. I am going to miss this place.
I want you
Nvm, now I want someone who replies to my booty-call texts faster
There is way too much butt cleavage here for a formal event.
Randomize
