Thanks for last night it was amazing as always
What are you talking about
You've got to be kidding me
It was like a drunk episode of Dora the Explorer. In English.
woke up naked, gf gone. There is a cup of change in the fridge, a bird in the bathroom, and odie is drawn on my ceiling. I live in a non sequitur
Sorry for calling you a whore in front of your mom. World cup brings the worst out of me.
i'm not sure when it happened but apparently now it's topless bar night, im wearing a leotard and everyone is looking at me like i'm cheating.
I sat in the bathroom on the counter and gave out advice to all the random people that walked in
You probably don't remember. You were drunk and getting your tits drummed on like haitian bongos in a voodoo ritual.
So burnt out. Like weed hangover. And someone just fell through the ceiling outside of my class. How's your morning going?
Curled up in the fetal position, trying not to throw up or think about my future, and humming songs from musicals to myself. You?
I'm hoping that by this time next year we will be smoking some weed at a gay wedding, asking "Mitt who?"
I've been on the toilet for an hour. On a six day bender. My ass feels like its leaking vodka
5 hours of volunteer work playing with puppies and banned from the frat I hate most as 'punishment'... Besides the ER trip, I'm not seeing the bad in this situation
Well, he hasn't actually seen me naked. Just my boobs... and the left side of my vagina.
Owwww. A manager/ employee sex scandal that DOES NOT involve me! SCORE!!!
He deliberately gets me high because he knows I fuck better and then I make food for two. I don't know if I should feel mad or proud of him for thinking that far.
Randomize
