I only have two rules. But i've fotgotten those rules and replaced them w 2 other rules
I don't understand how people can have that much vomit in them
Just saw the pics you left in my phone. thanks for reminding me that last night was not a dream.
Fuck. That. I'm gonna get drunker and make them regret they EVER put me at the kids table. I'm a MAN.
I only get commercials for vodka and Rogaine now. You're exactly right, Hulu. That's exactly right.
I was just told that i'm a premature cuddler. . . What does that even mean?
Whatever it is you failed
I got written up at work for smelling like sex and vodka. Still not sure how they put that into professional terms.
Also, if you all get arrested i'm coming to laugh at you because i don't have the money for bail.
Want to get high and go thrifting? I'm trying to succeed making my dorm look like a deranged Applebees.
He woke me up, handed me a ringing phone and said break up w her for me. That hung over.
Hey sorry about last night. can I come pick up my tooth?
Please tell me that I didn't call you to say I was swimming in outter space
The dominatrix coworker is currently listening to pop music that has been translated into an Irish dialect and sung by high school kids. Every day gets weirder here.
I don't think I have face palmed that many times in such a short period. And I've worked tech support.
I don't think getting eaten out in a smart car behind a circle-k on my break by a guy I just met classifies as social distancing, but I'm beginning to love night shift more and more.
Randomize