McDonalds has hash browns for only a quarter!....how many u want?
All of them
With the way things had been going, I was never more excited for a person to cum
frozen peaches as icecubes. vodka Sundays just got wayyyy better
i bought a pregnancy test with dimes. Is that trashy?
I'm at the grocery store, it's 10 am and the woman in front of me just bought 3 boxes of wine. She turned around and told me not to be afraid
I think i found piece of your tooth in my dick this morning when i took a shower
Yea. You cant just squeeze my balls. They are sensitive
open bar reception. dayglow. pray for me
I want him to rain dance my fallopian tubes.
When I said 'i love my boyfriend' I didn't mean 'send me a picture of your penis'.
We're gona eat taco bell and then take exlax and see who can hold it in the longest. Loser has to pay for drinks all weekend. You in?
The things i do for you...I put all those condoms on a bed, complete with girl, and you sleep in the bathroom
She was to tired for head so she opted for a footjob with poor results. I dont want to talk about it
Being in the club with your moms drunk friends > having a healthy relationship with your mom
He wants to make me arch my back "like I'm having an exorcism". Not sure if I'm turned on or freaked out.
Randomize
