Let me tell you a story about the rise and fall of my self esteem
His apartment number was 69. I had to.
We left the house and she said "let's go dick hunting" theres no way last night was gonna end up well
Make puking fun. Chug half a monster right before you blow. Throw up foam. Most unique experience ever.
Just saw you drinking out of a flask on national tv. I've never been more proud of you
She made a roadhead CD. Can I marry her?
just got home. some guy on my porch is tryin to show me his balls. no more parties at my apartment.
I'm convinced my penis is the only thing holding this relationship together.
Well despite the fact that I'm still not entirely sure this isn't an elaborate/cunning plan to kill me, I'm in.
I feel like your dick pick is everywhere. Never have I needed to be so careful when posting pictures.
Wow. Last night.
I knew you were shit blasted when you called me your "sunflower queen"
As soon as we had sex he stopped opening doors for me. That wasn't an exchange. Im still a god damn princess
I got to my internship late... with a bag of chipotle and sex hair.
Does it get any better than dating a guy with a vasectomy? The answer is NO. No it does not
I am real keen for none of this to be taken out of context so let’s just shut it down right now
Randomize
