So I'm playing pool in my cowboy boots and some guy came up looks at my boots and goes, "you should've got the boots with the fur"
oh man you're gonna hate me when you log onto facebook. remember i love you
so all night Ive been that girl with her tits out @ the bar. I mean I dropped jaws, yo. But in a classy way.
why did i wake up to an event notice that says "Shit Just Got Real"?
i stapled my math hw together with an ear ring, too ghetto?
Your fb status are always so intriguing.. Often make me picture you naked
you kept falling over in mid-conversation and you just got right back up as if nothing happened...
My dad just walked in on me screwing the chick from the bar...the look of relief on his face was sort of hurtful.
He could list all of the presidents! Every one, and in order!! I was so impressed the least I could do was give him a blow job.
Ah, yes. Making our founding fathers proud.
i didn't realize we were even dating until i ran out of weed
This guy in a neck brace is ordering bottle service at the strip club. Not sure whether to applaud his commitment or scorn his addiction. It's a draw.
We stayed up until 4:20 AM. The next thing I remember was waking up at 4 PM, like my internal alarm clock knew.
I'm about to turn myself in when I'm less hungover.
Soo are you just gonna poop in my bathtub and not talk to me anymore...?
Maybe the "i killed someone" and "tequila makes my clothes come off" comments freaked him out.
Randomize
