I wonder how many times I can be hungover in one day
I can actually hear my brain cells scream as they die when she speaks.
Until he has ordered mozzarella sticks & beers at 2pm while wearing formal attire, then this is still my bar.
There is nothing wrong with wanting a slide attached to your staircase
all i seem to do anymore is lay around stoned, naked and eating mangoes
I have glow sticks stuck to my boobs and a missed call from the 911. I'd say last night was a success.
Dude, I fucked her last night with nothing but my bandana on. Like straight Indian chief style.
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
If I wake up with an unknown penis in me one more time I am literally going to press charges to the makers of tequila.
I was high and he had on a gorilla suit. Of course I had to take a picture with him
Your a disgrace to smokers everywhere
We were suposed to have a 3some in their bathroom but it just turned into us 2 making out while he watched like a little kid on christmas morning
It's times where you wake up in the hospital after trying to road surf that you wonder what you're doing in life.
i've now hooked up with two guys who have tattoos of their sister's names...so that's a reality i have to live with...
i cant believe the cop was fine with you saying no we are in a hurry when he asked to search your car
I feel like your boyfriend deserves to know that you're a lesbian.
Randomize
