her vagina looked like a handful of raisins.
I don't apprectiate you insinuating that my breasts have a sort of bremuda triangle effect
whats wrong with me. i have a coffee mug of wine in the library and i'm doing homework
i dont think the girl sending me nudes is qualified to pass judgement on me
And on top of all this... he just told me to "chill my nips."
It's blow job season.
Did I get stoned on a sunday afternoon and speak to someone on the phone for an hour about cats and their behaviour? Glad you asked. And yes.
Dude I sat in the corner of the party bobbing my head and singing danger zone
That's probably when I climbed a tree and told everyone I was an ornament
Just jacked in the family restroom in the hospital while eating beef jerky and looking at reddit gone wild.
call me with an emergency in 5 min. This chick has a strap on hangin behind the bathroom door.
Sorry I pissed in your closet and lied to your parents that it was probably a flood. He got up to go to the bathroom, expecting sex when he got back, I panicked
So apparently last night while I was drunk I read him erotic fanfiction while he was eating me out. He stopped every now and then to give me feedback.
I just don't know how to say "I want to have sex you with before you graduate" in a classy way
I'm "drunk text both siblings" drunk.
Randomize
