Hoooooo maaaaan
Yes?
I'm retarded. Again.
One of her kids, Dakota I think, got stuck in a ceiling fan and she had a fit, thats when she found the penis hat.
Deffinety need to stop having sex on the beach just took a dump and it was mostly sand
we were naked in his bed and he told me all about what a "baller" alexander the great was.
They pulled him over whille he had a fish tank full of beer in his front seat. He told them it coudn't count as an open container cause the top was on it.
just so you're aware of it in the morning: you tried to slide down the railing on a snuggie. twice.
I just broke a sweat shaving my own vagina. Something has got to change.
I'm seeing how long I can hold this wine in my mouth. I have so many adventures! I'm like Teddy Ruxpin!
Why am I wearing a dog collar
Only way we could keep you from running in to traffic.
I'm the man of the house if we're referring to livers.
I need drugs. Hard drugs. Today. Not tomorrow. Today. Something relaxing.
By the power invested in me i promise you hot wedding sex at my wedding.
he accidentally put it in my ass, i liked it but didn't tell him that and "accidentally" took his weed.
OMFG. JUST WALKED IN ON A DUDE JERKING IT IN THE MCDONALDS BATHROOM
Stall or urinal?
I've got a surprise in the fridge when you get back.
Is it a puppy?
Randomize
