My gyno actually laughed when I told her about his penis size.
he wanted me to dress up like someone from lord of the rings. I dumped him.
soo I had sex last night and he wore a condom, pulled out sans condom. we looked everywhere and couldnt find it, even in my vag. so Im in the library at school and I googled it and it gave me "gentle digging" techniques, and sure enough, found it. ew. I'll be purchasing Plan B after class.
Yeah sketchy neighborhood.. Some woman ran by screaming, "i didn't steal anything" as some cops rolled up and arrested her.
Dudes got a Polo tattoo. I don't care if he has a yacht I can't handle that level of gay.
well, someone with very low standards is getting their dick sucked
We almost died tonight..we almost die every night. but tonight was the closest by far
Now I can say "look me up on Pornhub."
it's my birthday, i should be around people i want to fuck
Breaking a step ladder over someone's back turned into a really fun game, way too quickly.
Today's weekday brunch started at 2pm, and consisted of $7 of sandwich and $50 of cocktails. Also, I hustled the bartender for about $3 playing nickel poker, but he may have been letting me win. Either way, he didn't get into my pants.
There is a goat eating lettuce out of our fridge. Do you wanna grab a bloody mary?
we're having rib night followed by a cultural enlightenment party
whats a cultural enlightenment party
we eat nachos and drink margaritas and tequila till we pass out
We are back but we are listening to stairway to heaven in my car. Amy is air drums. Be back when it's over.
I hate being the first one to text him all the time...I feel like Iook desperate to get laid when the reality is that im just really horny and he has a/c...
Randomize
