the pool opens at 11. by 1115 the ambulance had been called.
I'm pretty sure "Like A Prayer" will forever remind me of drunk nights & pants down around the ankles
you never know, standards drop, they turn gay, shit happens.
She is sleeping in a dress because she's too drunk to put "real clothes" on
Your sister reminds me of me at her age. Stop her while you can.
Dude your neighbors are having a garage sale. They were judging me as I walk of shamed back to my car.
I feel like the other woman.
You ARE the other woman.
Ryab! Make hr wtop. Mshe make sme speee. I don want to pee. I want sev. He was so igbad. Redpo.
You were air-planing a joint into my mouth while I was crying naked in the bath tub.
Best Friends For Life.
My booty call just moved 2 min from my house
This has pregnancy written all over it
I would go a lot of places to get laid. But I would NOT go to Staten Island.
Okay so it turns out that my bf keeps a log of every time I sleep-fart. It's dated back to 2013.
What's the policy on calling guys who have kids daddy...
The single life is the freaking dream dude. I'm sitting here naked, eating chocolate mousse, and watching Gilmore girls. It's wonderful
Did I ever tell you what happened that night after he ran you over?
Randomize
