Dude, we somehow need to leave discretely with the toilet brush.
I don't know where my bra went.
Welll you ran into the street, took it off and yelled "I'm a free woman!". And then you threw it at some homeless guy.
so if i die before i go back to school its because the thing we found in the hallway that i've been smoking out of is a crack pipe
She's gonna be fat in the future. On a side note I had a "It's not you, it's me." conversation with a bottle of jack last night.
Chick took off her bra in the middle of class cuz it was "too hot." How's going out of state feel now?
i'm not a hellocoptur, but youer in a dorm ans im un a dorm
u girls! girls! girls! have fun please don't hook up w/ a roadie! Love, mom
If you ever wanna get tagged teamed, army guys are pretty open to it. Write that down for future reference.
I started scrolling back in our texts looking for context and a picture of your dick rose like the Great Pumpkin in the middle of my screen.
FOund a bunch of old fireworks spring cleaning.
Who is our new insurance provider?
Was he good-huge or like "what the fuck do i do with this"-huge
YOU WORK IN THE US CAPITOL! YOU CANNOT HAVE SEX IN THE BATHROOM!!
Dude, you are totally ruining intern season for me...
it will be just like last year but no clogged toilets and more costumes.
You were silly, high, and chewing on things.
Only you could get too drunk for taco bell. I don't know if I'm jealous or ashamed. Go to bed.
Randomize
