go do what you do best...puke behind churches
So my Christmas cards this year will be my mug shot with my kids face photo shopped next to me....too ghetto?
i rewarded my self with tacobell for not throwing up on any one. MISTAKE
i got really high and listened to the spongebob squarepants theme song and, i swear to god, it was in german.
I never once brought up his unibrow when he was insulting me. That's class.
I transported a midget tonight. He got beat up by another, midgetier midget. Is it bad that this is what makes me feel compassion after 15 years of being a paramedic?
Midgetier?
Smaller, yet meaner.
When the question of, do you know who's ass has been on the cake you are eating is said... Good or bad party?
I cartwheeled across every street... They tried to stop me but I bit anyone who came near me
okay when i look at this i can see it on the future news along with the headline "picture scandal involving senatorial candidate sexually harassing drunken idiot in what appears to be a pink room of pain"
Are sex swings allowed in dorms
His encouragement of my recreational drug use is the backbone of our nonrelationship. That, and rough animal sex and loud music.
We left him in some bushes a few blocks down toward campus. Did he find his way home?
Bitch got stabbed in the eye. With a fork. Wait for it... At church. I was the only one at a party interested in her story. Only in the south
he literally walked in took a shit and left ringing the 'great service' bell on the way out.
Just learned a very valuable life lesson. Never motorboat a cat when they have claws.
Randomize
