Contrary to popular belief, while 19 is an attractive age, it does not equate to sexual prowess.
thus making me awesome and them whores
dude I just sharted for the first time ever, kind of gross
well what did you think, shitting your pants would be fun
I sharted during my first quiz and I couldn't leave, I went ahead and took the rest of the day off.
you know u lost to a carboard cut out of sammy sosa in beer pong last night.
Some old truck driver just made me smell his beard I hope tonight turns out better
That chick who made out with a door is here. Want her number??
Please rescue me. but take your time, im getting pizza
I am in a hotel room with 10 people. John is in bed eating an industrial sized pan of mashed potatoes. I think a non insignificant number of people saw my nipples.
My vagina needs her own mother sometimes.
please come back they are interrogating me about masturbation
Stay calm. It's a titty bar. A ring of cocaine will protect you.
Oh, btw, UPS might come by. Drunk me ordered us $75 worth of gummy airhead starburst type candies. Whatever it is, it'll be delicious.
i just want things to go smoothly
oh they won't lmao
Is it too much to ask for 10 minutes of privacy while I masturbate?
Randomize
