Can one do a walk of shame from one's own hotel? Considering I just barfed in a planter down town in from of a bunch of business men in suits on my way to a work breakfast on a Wednesday morning, I am gonna just go with yes.
I just bought a large Pizza and Xanex in the same store...my night is complete
I just saw a girl licking a cheeseburger wrapper. dont ever let me get that fat
I am so hungover and cant move but craving a Wendys frosty so bad. I might have to watch 2 girls 1 cup just to settle the urge
Yeah I'm about to go down a waterslide that comes out a 2nd story window. I love college.
She threw up in the hot tub how's your night
I'll be accepting presents in the forms of drinks, drugs, and orgasms. So any or all of those will be fine.
I think my sister is getting tired of me breaking into her house so I can sleep with random girls when shes not there
I don't care how stoned you are, I'm not driving to a different state for a burrito
She is currently expressing her joy for "bad to the bone" through interpretive dance...
So how was the sex with me last night?
No worse than usual.
I was just shot with a dart gun by one of my coworkers while walking to the printer. Ironically I was printing my resignation letter...
Tom just texted me he's Tindering from his hospital bed while they're running heart tests on him.
That's dedication to the game.
"We drove to the deserted part of the parking lot, and that's where we blew each other. It was so romantic."
He didn't even get to the first chorus of Hotel California before he started convulsing on top of me.
Randomize
