I hope you never procreate. Philly is already the ugliest city in the country.
watching a depressing episode of spongebob while high is the most depressing thing i have ever experienced
So I'm probably the first guy in history to tap out of a blowjob.
As long as you're not dating white guys again.
I don't like finding out that my fuck buddy is a good person.
So not only did you shoot down my invitation and prob walked past my house but now ur excluding me from a wet t shirt contest which btw i totally would have won
I dunno... But she calls vodka "dancing juice"
Bro I am trying to have one night stands nothing more, unless she is baking waffles I can eat out of her butthole I am not interested
I'm about to pick up E from underneath a random doormat.......how is this remotely normal?
dude you had a hot girl interested and took shots together, as soon as it went down the hatch you upchucked on her entire existance..
successful birthday. 2012 rules
Somewhere between the 30 minutes of cunnilingus, the improvised song about the Olympics, and the super thoughtful shower beer... I knew I married the right guy
I don't even know man. I was to busy having beer showered on me and grabbing some balls
Let's FaceTime each other while we shotgun beers
Excuse you? I'm an asshole at least 90% of the time. Get it right.
You know shits really hit the fan when you start using public bathroom air freshener spray as perfume
what? where are you?
Randomize
