What do they do with the elephants that die at the zoo
Cremation, why do you ask?
I think we have a bit of a problem
you dialed the number "23" then talked to it for three minutes
i told him my stretch marks were scars from a jellyfish sting........he totally bought it
I just need to go to a bar tonight wrapped in an American flag singing the national anthem
I feel like I've been drunk all of June. And I am in NO WAY ashamed about it.
Okay do all 29 year olds have erectile dysfunction or just the two I've slept with?
I tried to find the bar, ended up at a car dealership. Then the alarms went off.
It took 6 cruisers to bust the party last night. Cop asked if the theme was a beach party. I said I would fucking hope so with 8 tons of sand in the garage
He's far too busy staring into my soul to touch my tits.
My sex toys have been held in customs for almost a month now. They're British, what the hell?!?
We're friends with benifits... The benifits being I'm fucking her boyfriend
why is there a shopping cart in my back seat? and a dick drawn on the side of my car?
Ex-boyfriend shit on a ping pong table at a party last night. Taking "party pooper" to a whole new level.
You could at least care enough to fake an orgasm for me.
Let me set the mood for you. Do you remember Britney Spears in her Hit Me Baby One More Time era? Well I just fucked this college girl I shit you not her name is Persephone and she looks exactly like Britney Spears back when she was hot. I might be in love.
Randomize
