I think getting shot is the thing to do in Brooklyn
The walk of shame is so much worse when you've spent the night third wheeling.
just smash crush and snort whatever we can get our paws on
I knew I fell for you for a reason
She was singing my heart will go on into her barf bag. celine aint got shit on her.
Remind me to tell you the "if you give a mouse a special brownie" story when you get back
I am drinking at a movie theater seeing a children's movie, 2nd time this week
i keep seeing random pieces of my outfit all around town.
I put bits of fruit cocktail in the jello shots i made because i knew that they were gonna be the only thing we ate all day
She has a lazy eye!
My other option is a hardwood floor
You wouldn't be the first friend to shit himself in the last 7 days
TGIFridays...stall number 1...drunk...send help
The only thing left on my Bucket List is getting fingered at an aquarium.
I have a corndog on my dresser and a trashcan of puke. Thanks for a great night!
HE PUT A HOLE. IN. MY. HOUSE!!!
Sorry I totally pulled a home invasion on you last night
That was super inconsiderate of me
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