Culvers...So Good
So good. The butter burgers slip right outta my ass.
try this...when you orgasm scream his address including city state and zip...
Sweet. Might not hurt to poop on the floor anyway.
he has cookie breath... dont trust fat people.
hot twin vs twin who's good in bed. why do my life choices same way unfair
I don't know what you told him but please make him stop telling me about his new video camera and winking
Still borderline I believe. As bad as this sounds, I feel God owes me one here and should not let his grandmother die till after my birthday
So the guy I hooked up with during welcome week just tried to booty call me from across the lecture hall at 9am. I don't think he gets how this works...
I just sent an "I'm sorry I forged a prescription in your name" email. It was one of the more awkward things I've done this week.
well when I said that I would ride his face until he ran out of oxygen, that's when I knew I shouldn't be around beautiful people anymore.
I chose not to drink last night but drinking chose me
Sorry I peed on your ottoman
I was on tinder the whole time I was waiting for my pregnancy test results at the doctors.
I haven't been single on my birthday for 7 years. If you don't get me laid tonight, your best friend/wing woman status will be revoked.
Dude, he came to our house with a beer can in his hand dressed up in a chicken suit screaming, "free eggs!" then threw up and passed out in the front yard.
Randomize
