alcohol turns me into mario batali of easy mac
you should buy a sheep. A) you get an awesome pet. B) free coat
we just stared at taco bell's menu on the website for 2 hours
we've progressed from teabagging to lighting eachothers asses on fire. this cannot be a good path.
I just looked at the maps icon on my IPhone and "eR" was typed in the search address bar. I wonder if we ever got there.
Ive created a fbook group called "threesome" and invited two girls. Im not going to say a word and just see what happens.
Whats the count minus fat chicks?
The saltiness of my tears mix perfectly with the tequila.
I am going to wait until he wakes up to set his couch on fire and then pee it out. That way he knows it was not an accident.
Sometimes I love sober logical me. She makes rare appearances but when she does she shines.
i don't know man... i just want to listen to John Lennon every time i finish fucking her. is this love?
My hot gay tattoo artist grew a beard and I'm not taking it well.
Her 4ft mother helped 5ft10 passed out me from the car to my girlfriend's bed at 1am...with whopper in hand
You kept yelling stranger danger at Nick because he was talking to that girl you didn't like. Your not invited ever again.
That was the first time i’ve been physically intimidated by a LinkedIn profile.
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