they say Disney World is the happiest place on Earth. It's a close second to the Super 8 on route 18. That place holds some great memories.
Great date with Damon, but I'm not sure if telling him I like lesbian porn is a good second date discussion.
She does have a great personality.
Yeah, in her vagina.
Ever since I discovered that youporn works on blackberry, my brickbreaker skills have gone to shit
Just got a lapdance on the metro. She said she was on maternity leave and needed the practice.
Did you spray paint that captain morgan fifth that's in the freezer gold?
Get this. Chipped my front tooth taking a sip of a gay mans beer out of my cleavage. Fuck my fucking life. that'll be fun to explain to my dentist
He had a 99.9% chance of getting laid...until he started cutting down the frat's volleyball nets with his pocket knife.
Hey, just wanted to let you know that University Police stopped by and repossessed the stolen laundry basket. And the 8 bottles of detergent.
I can't even masturbate anymore!! That was my last source of cardio!!
I'm at a bar. It's body paint Wednesday. All of the waitresses are topless. Help me
you know i have almost 1500 fb friends but not ONE drunk booty call?
I WOKE UP IN A FUCKING DOG BED HOW DO YOU THINK I FEEL
I don't want my liquor store dad to judge me...
I don't think it's a coincidence that the day I just happen to do the splits at the gym I come back with 7 guys' phone numbers.
Randomize
