don't go home with that guy from jersey
i know, not worth the blood test
she stopped mid-blowjob to explain how to acheive the haircut shown in the movie
the boys love us. they call us "the stoner girl suite down the hall". not very inspired, but flattering nonetheless
Are we doing anything tonight after class for Valentine's Day or just being lazy and having sex?
If you expect me to say anything other than 'lazy and sex' you're crazzzzy!
She's trying to put on her dog muzzle on her self
I found a video of myself completely naked on my phone giving a drunk tutorial on how to shit properly while blindfolded. Did you record it?
Just used my eyelash curler to open a bottle of cider...
I just got nudes while talking in the third person. Not sure if I Should be proud or ashamed.
Holy Hangover.. I'm marrying whoever put this water by my bed
SO DRUNK
PUKED IN DRIVEWAY
TELL PARENTS SORRY
Dude. I don't even want cuddles. I just want an acknowledgement that I just had balls in my mouth.
Yeah, I got home from work at like 9:30, and he was passed out on the couch wearing only a tee shirt and The Jurassic Park theme on repeat.
Made it to my hair appointment on time, and got some dick. Today is already a great day
No we didn't fuck. He picked me up I asked where we were going and he said "I don't know if you've ever heard of a little place called Denny's?" He was completely serious. I told him to stop the car and I got out and called Jack.
like honestly, the vodka had to go somewhere, and your moms soap dispenser just seemed right at the time..
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