Maybe if i eat something filling like whole wheat pasta it will make me less hungry for things like dick
Sandwiches eeeeeeverywhere.
i woke up to see him pissing on your n64. thats like killing a unicorn. punishable by death for sure.
just took my birth control pill with a shamrock shake. happy st. patrick's day
i was drinking at the bar last night with a guy with no bottom teeth, wearing zubas and a polka dotted hat. if that isn't the definition of wisconsin, i dont know what is
in the middle of fucking he asked me if i had gotten a haircut because he noticed i didnt have split ends anymore. i dont know what to think
I can't even look at my running shoes. I swear I drank more in the last 2 days than the last 6 months combined
So apparently I threw a potted plant at a clown last night and told him to get his life together.
One good thing out of all this is her ass is huge. Like Australia Big.
I just looked at your pics on Facebook....there was cake? Where the fuck was I!?
you stole two subs and a drink from jimmy johns and walked out yelling "get at me bitches"
Sometimes i like to think we arent living together next year and that im living with models that like to experiment but you ruin that fantasy time and time again
What do you expect from her? Do you remember that creepy man she dated who saturated a pillowcase in his musky cologne and mailed it to her and she still slept with him.
You "drove" the computer chair around the party for a good fifteen minutes. you would crash into things, freak out, and yell for an ambulance.
Weight watchers just said "you've tracked beer three times recently, want to make it one of your favorites?" I'm begining to understand why I needed to go in the first place.
Randomize
