There is an asian family here, I heard the mom call her son onyong
how's this sound. You, me a box of pink franzia and a night full of possibilities in your basemen. I'll be me. You be you. And we'll see where it goes
Feel like bed is flying. Not sure where we're going. Hope there is candy.
everyone who works at gamestop is basically destined to live with their parents for the rest of their lives... so i said no.
he has a knack for choosing the worst time to masturbate
Parents said they were cutting off my AmEx card. So I immediately went up to the liquor store and purchased $550 of booze before it was canceled. I'm expecting your arrival in 30 minutes.
I just sneezed and it made my entire body ache. Hungover is an understatement
I just need a text that says "put that food down bitch" and then maybe I'll lose water weight through tears
you took a picture of the hospital bathroom and sent it to me
Some male strippers are here, I threw pancakes at them. It's ok
I don't know why I do this to myself his dick is a constant source of disappointment.
I just used a box o wine to refill a bottle o wine to more effectively drunk clean
I'm sitting here listening to fat joe and doing kegels I have given up
Well, he was practically tripping over his dick to get to me so I'd say my new dress was successful
They were playing some sort of fast food scavenger hunt game as an ice breaker. Some chick stamped a Starbucks logo on my hand and told me to go find the girl with the matching stamp and fill her with cream.
Dave had an Arby’s stamp and some sorority girl grabbed him and screamed “I’ve have the meat!”\n
Randomize
