This bar is like a mediocre whore house....but free
it was like my fingers were behind enemy lines
I faked it too. I just spit on your bed.
I'm going to skip that pointless convo with Mark, stick with the "we're talking" status, and bone barely legal, borderline gay, preppy guys on the DL.
I don't care if the man pisses on teenage girls, he's enchanting.
We can grow old together and our livers can fail together
... was I dreaming when we did coke off of the xbox, or did that really happen?
I didn't know what to do with her so I just tied her to a bench.
these girls were driving down the road screaming "SHOT!!" out the windows and pelting potatoes at passerby.
i got hit in the ear.
My mom just admitted you were a good looking kid & if you weren't my friend & 30 years older she would do you. I'm going to commit suicide.
Never backflip into an above ground pool. I think the gash will be smaller by Monday though.
That was the #1 scariest moment in my life. I have full trust in you, I let you bite my penis for god sake.
my whole wardrobe smells like substance abuse
I think the biggest problem with being overhigh is when the kitchen was on fire and I was pointing and laughing and eating rootbeer oreos like it was fucking Ozzfest 2000
I'm pretty sure my therapist gave me the green light to fuck him.
Randomize