Just met a female bro. Things are weird at the rugby party.
everyone has their kryptonite. mine just happens to be 18 year old blonde girls.
I just found out I was conceived in a rehab facility... that's better than finding out your dad could be someone else right?
They went to the hospital to try backflips in the parking lot. Be ready for the call
I realized it was a bad idea when I broke my collar bone
I'll probably just lay on my couch bra-less sipping wine out of a straw so I don't have to lift my head.
He's had mdma poured down his throat. He's getting huggy.
you're right. i am beautiful. like a May day. frolicking in a meadow of wildflowers. platinum in one hand. pipe in the other. that kind of beautiful.
The other day I was really high and I felt like my words were coming out of my mouth in flowers...I don't know.
His pick-up lines are quotes from Doctor Who. Of course I fucked him.
Feels like I ran a marathon last night. A tequila marathon.
Also, do you have any insight as to WHY I have a note saved from the 17th of June that reads *clears throat*, "you got that swanky blues libido"
Shit happens dude.
Shit doesn't just HAPPEN on the kitchen floor you asshole.
tell me about the eggs
Going back to our hometown to help Gramma move. Thinking we should see if we can fuck on the desk of the homophobic coach who first introduced us while in town.
Randomize
