I'm jammin out to some Brit Birt, she's still my bitch, I love her crazy ass
we were playing true or dare on a webcam chat and i was way to drunk ...i ended up having to drink my own piss outta a beer bottle, life couldnt get any worse right now
Supposedly i was taking multiple birth control pills while screaming dot judge me. Never going back
if the best thing you can say about him is "he probably wont kill me" you may want to rethink hanging out with him
thats it. im teaching my cat how to use a fire alarm
What is a foreign vacation of stupidity without some fake names?
I was on my way last night when some asshole yelled "make better life choices" out the window of his car. I felt so self conscious I went home.
They need 20 oz Capri suns with liquor. Douches need to grow up with their clients
We got way too high so we're sitting in the parking lot of the movies trying to figure out what bar to go to
I need to find parents that want to take care of a grown adult. I'm sure there's a website out there for that. Like a sugar daddy but sugar parents.
WHY WERE YOU COOKING NAKED?
WHY WERE YOU SLEEPING ON MY COUCH?
I watched you down those shots like a lion cub watching its mother rip apart a gazelle
In case you were wondering how drunk I was last night, there was an unopened slim Jim in front of my door and I ate it.
I just watched someone put a diaper on a cat..I'm to high for this.
just so you know. the medical term for period cramps is mettelschmerz.
glad to know something that causes such misery in my life has such a laughable name.
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