garbage
garbage dick
rubbish cock
you win
Haha no. But I cannot hook up with you anymore. Especially when you group text people.
All I know is it had something to do with a plunger and tuna salad. I'm done. I'm quitting my job.
HAH. HARRY POTTER CASUAL CONVO HAS BEEN EXTENDED TO DISCUSSING WEATHER. SO PRO
You drew a self portrait of yourself on his wall with sharpie.
Wow. He pulled out his dick and I swear I heard a thud from it hitting the floor.
Also managed to rip my pants and set myself on fire. And oddly enough I'm still not ready to ask for 2010 back.
Dave a horae rider a coqw boy
Your 'drink of the future' makes sense now- you feel it for atleast 10 hours into the future
He only talks to me during the summer and it's probably because I let him fuck me in my pool last year.
Didn't know hookah bars could end badly. I feel for her hair
That's just weird. That doesn't make sense sexually at all. I mean, you might as well tape a pen to the tip and try and write your name while you're at it.
She literally took off her shirt and ran out of the bar. When she ran back she smashed into the glass door with her face....That's got to be the best way to celebrate your 30th.
You chugged Absolut from a beer bong. Why WOULDN'T you be a champion?
Responsible things to do when you're too hungover to get out of bed: Breast self exam.
Randomize
