Should I have kids to fix a relationship??
i just watched my husband get a prostate exam. sex is ruined for me.
In my 8 am class there was a pack of birth control on the board with a note saying, "Some dude somewhere is unhappy."
Haha. We better find him. He looked like he came out of Switzerland's vagina, he's that much of a blonde beauty.
my mom took me to a gay bar and went on and on about all her good times at clubs... i now know where i get it
I don't know what possessed you to do that, but you have to give the stripper more money before you try to check her oil or they are going to throw us out every time you do that.
I passed out with my wizard stick taped to my hands and got woken up being poked with a St. Bernard
So me and him are making out, and the other two are on the couch behind us. he randomly stops kissing me and goes "oh god I think she just took off her shirt" I look behind me and I see her tits flapping up and down. This man has amazing senses..
trust me, you don't know shame until you're in a peacock costume getting CPR by random dudes
Your brother slept on my deck. There was a key under the mat. Relapse party success.
...and that is the first time I've ever wished fewer naked women on someone I like.
I wish I could have a tequila IV with me all the time. Intravenous tequila intoxication.
I'm eating animal crackers on my bed next to my vibrator writing about the hopelessness and depravity of humanity. I am LIVING.
Tell me why I woke up with your dads construction shirt on, nothing else, and had jelly donuts with a note from a girl named cathryn that said "we had a kinky night with peanut butter". p.s. Im by the layin by the lawnmower
Skipping class. Wanna Drink now?
yea. just give me 15 min to write a paper.
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