He's not gay. He just has bad gaydar and he gaydared himself and was wrong.
I am now the proud owner of a 10-12 year old's Optimus Prime costume from Walmart. Tomorrow is going to be a good day.
and i forgot to tell you that my armpit hair is now completely grown back. man i love winter.
I am the Bobby Fisher of drunk asss puking
She is chewing on staples and spitting them at her cat, I think it's time to leave..
we found you in the closet, clutching coats that werent yours for stability
All i know is we had 4 people on a tandum bike, and told the cops we couldnt stop because our momentum was so good.
That point of drunk where you're in a bar bathroom and you're like "F*ck you bra! I'm not taking your sh*t anymore! and you take it off and throw it in a trashcan.
I'll answer your question with a question: Are you gonna be too high?
I wish i could just live off of margaritas and good sex.
Please come and kill me with a brick you dont even have to be nice about it just smash myfucking skull in this is the worst hangover ive had for at least a week
I think I'm actually too depressed to do drugs, wow.
I ain't lettin her quit anyway. We don't fuck enough for her to meet the housewife requirements
Did I tell you about my dream that I got handed a $100 and my vagina dissolved it? I think it wants me to not be a whore anymore.
I guess I was running around slapping people in the face with a slice of turkey telling them that the only way to beat alcohol addiction is to go cold turkey.
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