There was a point where some of my friends attempted 'moi's', which stands for makeout on introduction.
It involved going up to women and very aggressively trying to make out with them upon meeting them
Surprisingly the success rate was exceedingly high
i don't know how to normally transition into sexual activities without being drunk...
my mouth smells like i just ate out a crab.
My parking ticket this morning was 30bucks. I feel like I'm paying the city to fuck you.
I am currently in the waffle making stage of highness
He was sitting cross legged outside his tent repeatedly hitting the ground with a hammer and shouting 'this.is.a.good.idea.'
I had to download the flashlight app so I could finish taking a dump when the power went out.
And by "got a tattoo" i mean i got a tattoo in the dorm bathrooms with a guy using his cousin's tattoo gun.
Dude I'm looking through my old high school year book and I circled every girl I fucked.. what was wrong with me.
I told him he was, quote: "A big cuddly bear" and he needed to get into my bed or I would set his Golden Retriever free.
Yeah that doesn't involve enough booze, count me out
what's the least obnoxious place that i could barf on the bus?
is it weird that our first time having sex was makeup sex?
so dehydrated I couldn't fill the pee cup to the right line for my drug test for school. I was like sorry it was my birthday yesterday
Getting knocked up by someone with a good job and a big dick, okay. I can handle that. Getting knocked up by someone who sells dildos for a living and has a tiny dick, SOMEBODY is losing a pair of balls.
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