Call meee
Ok, but just to warn you, I'm as drunk as a Kennedy right now...
Kinda wish I banged him. I need the exercise.
drunk making out is the fucking beeeest. specially when it's your exboyfriend
I wonder if you'll be as excited about this as you are now tomorrow morning.
Yeah someone just put a trash bag that says "use protection" on the snow penis
Its really bad when you fall asleep at a stop light outside the hotel and you wake up to a small spanish limo driver knocking on your window to tell you it's a green light
He told me he loved me and then asked if we could have sex in the snow
My mascara kind of smells like tequila to me...Is this my body crying for help or asking for a shot?
Today is going to be the longest game of "was that a fart, or do I need to go wipe?" I have ever played. Maybe the most challenging too.
I blacked out for most of the day but apparently I still met with my prof. I made notes...
Because its Monday... And I'm determined to just be drunk for the rest of the semester
Last thing I remember is whiskey shots. My roommate tells me we were there 15min before I decided to run home naked. And we live across from a police station.
By talk him into it I assume you mean blow him into it.
You "drove" the computer chair around the party for a good fifteen minutes. you would crash into things, freak out, and yell for an ambulance.
And our sex soundtracks thus far have been metal and Star Wars
And despite my lack of successful relationships I'm a fucking guru
That's like claiming you're a good coach but going 2-12 last season
Randomize
