Is it just me or do I always seem to have cum in my bellybutton?
hes so high that he's convinced hes a duck. hes squating in the bathtub quacking. that was NOT JUST pot.
mom and dad are leaving for florida on 4/20, this is a sign
11am puke and rally. THIS is what I'm gonna miss about college.
I really want to title the album "I want to make sex with your face" but I also want a job someday. Temptations, temptations.
I just wanted to let you know that this afternoon I took a piss at the same toliet you drank out of on New Years Eve.
He graduated with honors. I've seen him kneeboard on dry ground and run a razor scooter into a wall...anyone can graduate with honors
I AM THE KING OF THE FRESHMEN
how did i know this would happen?
You have dresses for different occasions. I need different men's dicks too. It's logic.
stef broke her leg trying to vault over the coffee table. these olympics drinking games are going to fucking kill us
strip vodka pong is never a good idea. I saw into his colon when he picked up the ball off the floor
Ooo, yeah! Thanksgiving will be a blast. Can't fuckin wait for the next round of "have you found a nice young man yet?" Followed by a lovely helping of "don't worry, there's someone out there for you."
We were like ok let's be eachothers maid of honor and then you were like "ok see you at the wedding" and walked away
listen i get youre a daddy dom but that doesnt give you a pass to make dad jokes
He literally shouted this Viking war cry when he cam. Then as we laid there he sang me the most beautiful rendition of " When Irish Eyes are Smiling". I've never been more confused.
Randomize
