Fuck you I wanted that fabulous flaming homo to win american idol...its like we lost the gay marriage vote...again
Just saw remains of her puke from last night on my pants.... thats got "Apology BJ" written all over it.
It doesn't matter if he doesn't speak English because I speak the international language of blowies.
Yes..we had amazing sex that I have a 50 percent chance of remembering.
I'm listening to bach and watching porn,is that a sign of depression?
Quite the contrary. Sophistication.
i am too hungover to go to class can you just call me and put it on speaker phone
All i remember is people cheering me on to drink faster than the dog, out of the dog's bowl. I just couldn't stop.
Thursday nights need to stop happening to me.
At what point during this road trip should I let them know I've been drinking in the backseat the whole time and can't take my turn driving?
The things I do for you. Not that I'm unhappy about it. I'm just saying you should love me.
Did you sleep with him again?
No! I just led him to believe that I would if he gets me booze. Do I have that little class that you have such minimal faith in me?
I swear the toilet was so cold I tried to stand up but my balls wer frozen to it. most awkward five minutes between me and my mom.
I'm on the same pooping schedule as a professor I've never had. He now says what's up to me in the hallway
Baked goods and tits. Hard to go wrong there.
Can we do lunch at 3? I have a blowjob scheduled for 2.
You schedule blowjobs?
I think I need practice at oral sex
I own a practice facility.
Randomize
