guys are not supposed to queef...right?
Dude, we totally smoked up inside a church organ last night. Add this to the epic list.
Woke up and went out for a cigarette and it was dead quiet. It was like the world just knew how many mistakes were made last night.
I've got 15 minutes to eat dinner and drink a 40. Four years of college has all been training for this moment.
Just learned how to deliver a baby.the things i saw tonight can never be unseen
Thanks for talking me down from peeing on his window last night.
I am now curious as to how you would have aimed.
This has been the biggest binge-drinking season of the decade.
I don't remember much of half-time. I do remember climbing onto the roof of the fraternity and telling people I was going to stargaze in French.
When I take mushrooms I can feel your presence down there. I can feel where Africa is too.
I'm about to sell my hamster for weed money I'll call you in a few
On one hand it was kinda weird his girlfriends stuff was at his apartment. On the other hand it was kinda nice because she had great shampoo
Running late for a date because I couldn't get my clothes out from under the dude I spent the night with in time to leave when I planned. This is my life.
He could only go twice. I need a guy with more stamina and is less married
I don’t have the time, patience, or blood alcohol level to deal with her.
Ahaah! I just stole batteries from work for my vibrator. I am that person.
Randomize
