Please tell me its not ok to love a 17 year old....no matter how hot he is and how sexy his eyebrow ring is oh lord
Dude wtf I'm sitting behind some girl in class who is creeping on my facebook page. I don't even know who she is..
We've been friends for six months, when do my benefits kick in?
He tried to make eye contact, he should know by now that freaks me out
i secretly love the power trip of being their RA & busting these idiots for everything i did as a freshman
He said he forgot to take his shoes off, and that he was a bad boy because he was walking on the carpet. Then he sang. Then he shouted "I'M STILL FORGETTING."
Bro I can't jerk it to my phone anymore. I feel Siri staring back, and she's real disappointed.
Hey start looking around for a low rider Subaru. Well get a loan. It will be capital for our first music video.
Oh my god. I slept with my boyfriend last night. It was wonderful.
And when I say my boyfriend I mean my electric blanket. Because that's the kind of life I lead.
You just said the word 'slut' out loud in your sleep and then made a moaning noise
Hooray! My email address wasn't leaked by Ashley Madison!
I will chop off your penis
Can I pee and smoke my bong at the same time or is that like eating on the toilet
I'm going to make a stack of pancakes and fuck it. Right now.
for future reference, singing eye of the tiger outside my door while i am having sex makes me incredibly uncomfortable
apparently not uncomfortable enough for you to stop
Remember that time we were together? Yeah, I don't miss that.
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