I may or may not have just irish jigged at a bar. And broken out in a sweat from it. Not a good sign for that marathon yo.
And that's when he stuck his finger up his own ass to prove it would feel good...
What's the protocol on showing a video of me sucking the life out of my ex in order to prove beyond a doubt that I give great head???
rolling absolute tits, turn on the red lights for when i get home.
Please come and rip my uterus out before it does it itself
Btw I'm currently writing a paper in a beer garden. Be proud.
I just Miyagied my roommate through her first set of tit pics. Her fuck buddy owes me.
So you're saying you don't want to be with her anymore because she likes sex to much and is just to hot?
Well when you say it that way it makes me sound like an idiot.
You are an idiot.
As soon as I got there, you appeared out of no where, yelled "they're giving away free cigarettes!" in my face and then disappeared and I didn't see you the rest of the night.
let’s be honest I’d fucking Irish step dance on your grave, asshole
I can't decide if this outfit makes me look like a pirate. I also can't decide if I care if it does.
Thanks a lot dude. I'm grateful to you for your gift of pure piss.
He sent me a website link to GIF on Snapchat. I don’t think he understands how Social Media works.
Florida is balancing how much this place sucks with how many vodkas you can have to cope in order to still be allowed on the plane to leave
So I forgot to ask, how was that bartender you slept with two weeks ago?
Google chlamydia.
Randomize
