dinner at cheesecake factory: $40. drinks at yard house: $50. having sex in the VG parking lot while people are staring at you awkwardly: priceless. Goodnight.
Is it a bad sign when i blow my nose && can smell vodka?
question: does your pee smell like mojitos at all?
What time do you think the pilgrims started drinking? I want to be as accurate as possible.
I knew she was going to get knocked up just by looking at her facebook pics
He's got a wife and three kids but I'm into being that mistake.
We found a swing set....it's in the front yard.
Is it OK to disqualify a potential therapist if she lists 50 Shades of Gray as her favorite book? Or is that a good thing?
How could she say that about my foreskin when she hasn't even seen all the cool stuff I can do with it?
I'm sorry, that really sucks. I'm in the bath eating lasagna and if anyone comes in here it's going to be bad news for them
I mean, he'll either figure it the fuck out or set my apartment on fire. Either way, it will be entertaining.
I walked in to you guys using a milk jug as a gravity bong
Surrounded by smaller versions of the same
For some reason drunk me always leaves sober me a banana in the morning.
There’s a stripper dressed like a slutty pilgrim. Is that a thing?
I live in Vegas It shouldn’t be this hard to find a penis looking for a night of no strings attached sex
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