Dont worry, she is sitting right next to me. She is making it clear she wants to scissor
So the hot 23 year old i went home with last night is really 17 and was here for orientation.. i feel like a pedifile...
In that case, you should probably come up to the union, orientation is in full swing, your kind of guys ;)
cunt.
guy in front of me on the bus did 12 yrs, hes teling me about how to knife fight
Im shirtless eating a burrito. How urgent is this?
I went home with a guy last night because he showed me some magic tricks and kept shouting "THEY'RE ILLUSIONS MICHAEL!"
I no longer exist. I have transformed into a puddle of sex.
I have accepted that I am a sexual predator. What I can't accept is the lack of sexual men for me to seduce in this town.
I am so sorry for drunk texting you r kelly lyrics
Have 7 min to kill while I wait for liquor store to open. Feels really awkward.
I'm glad I can share my workout progress with you via my nudes
Last night I had a sex dream about Trudeau, he hasn't even been prime minister for 24 hours
The fact that you screamed, "Alf is my spirit animal!" is proof enough that we're too old for peyote.
Anyways enough about genital fatigue...
So I'm trying to figure out how to talk my boss into allowing pajama day once a week. Any ideas?
And then I was like pick your blow job song and he choose the sonic the hedgehog theme song. If he's not the one no one is.
Randomize
