There are no words to adequately express my gratitude for sending me porn you found staring a former classmate.
I think I should just go up to him and say, "before I invest time in this could I just take a look at your penis?"
He puked at the bar then immediately procceded to slip in it, they loaded him up into a wheelchair, then the staff and myself walked him outside, all the while never having to pay for our tab. SO using this strategy again
so i had a dream that andrew cuomo ate me out. guess who i'm voting for?
Thanks for not waking me up before the firefighters chopped down my door
the laptop wouldn't balance on his lap. that's how well endowed he is.
Ha, I bet. You tipped the waitress like 10 bucks for a glass of water.
SOMEONE has to puke in the potted plants at an Xmas party. As their boss I felt it should be me.
But seriously who drew a dick on a tortilla and nailed it to the door?
THIS IS WHY I WENT TO SCHOOL FOR TO BE A COSMETOLOGIST TO HELP MY EX BOYFRIENDS CURRENT GIRLFRIEND BE MILDLY ATTRACTIVE... Everything DOES happen for a reason
Maybe don't sell him so much adderall next time. The other day during finals he was convinced that he could see the "molecules of life in the air" and kept reaching up slowly to grab them.
Just saw the ex while I was at CVS at 3am buying Depends for my heavy flow
If you can't accept me drawing a Santa hat on your penis then we can't be friends
He called me saying he got nice rims for his car so now we can fuck in style
My husband is waiting until son is napping and air humps as a seduction tactic. Pray for me.
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