bad idea #53- masterbating while on period.
Can you still call it a wet dream if sandwiches were involved?
Forever 21 now has a maternity line. Even more of an incentive for me to get pregnant at a young age.
It's the only time I've ever felt manly shitting myself
I will seriously deflate and melt into the floor into a puddle of devestation, shame and vodka.
How can I explain how nice he is to you? ...like, I'm going to have to have my world famous why being a douche is sexy talk.
I wish you could take over my body and feel what my nipple feels like right now
Also, horsecock action starts in about a month. Have you prepared yourself yet?
I'd like to stay optimistic, but I have this nagging suspicion my penis is in for a disappointing holiday weekend.
Commuter bitches be judging your sister and her bag fulla wine. It's a motherfucking rosé, bitch!
It's nice out. . But after I almost put a bag of chips in the microwave to make nachos. ..I figured it best to not venture too far from the couch
You hit a new plane of existence as we all watched in awe
i tried giving myself a bikini wax.1. i hate you 2. i think i'm dying
Dude someone puked in a bowl n put it in the fridge. I thought it was salsa! Who does that?
I often worry that if I get famous, people from my past will recognize me and start talking to the media
Randomize
