dude i was like still drunk, taking pictures of her while she was naked and asleep and she woke up
haha what'd she say
i don't know man, something about us dating. but i never talked to her sober so i said i was making breakfast and snuck out of her house. close calls man WTF
hey, when you wake up, search yourself on youtube
my sister already found it, were watching it right now. i give it 2 thumbs up.
after he came i started crying. just to fuck with his head.
When a girl says " I never would have come over if I knew I was getting kicked out at 7am." the correct response isn't "but think of how responsible you're being."
I think the threesome was inevitable when she walked out in nothing but his boxers followed by him completely naked.
He needs a high five right to the fucking mouth. With a chair. Or an atomic bomb.
I hope you enjoy this collage I made of you and me getting fucked up together
I'm not sure whom I'm texting but I put you in my phone as last nights fuck budy, and I'm just curious if I left my clutch with you?
THINK! exactly how many raw eggs did you color and hide in my apt.
you said "i met the love of my life tonight" and i said "me?" and you said "no, hummus"
I almost got an A in organic chem but started hallucinating during the final so I got a C
Bro I needs to be rescued in 30 mins...prfeebly someone died in a car accident needs to be the excuse
I got stabbed with a couple of chip crumbs during sex Saturday. Further proof I need to stop eating snacks in bed
Banged a guy with 2 broken arms once. Top that
I feel like he doesn't realize we're offering him a threeway with sisters and I don't understand how that's possible.
Maybe we should bring mom next time.
Randomize
